Let’s cut right to the chase.
Was I nervous? Absolutely.
Could I have performed better in the main draw? Absolutely.
Did I play some great tennis in qualies? Absolutely.
Am I incredibly proud of myself for fighting through qualifying and reaching my best result yet? Absolutely.
The tournament journey
vs Lepchenko 6:1, 7:5
vs Salkova 6:3, 6:1
vs Gorgodze 6:4, 6:4
vs Lys 3:6, 3:6
I am writing this blog on my flight home. I was in New York City for 2 entire weeks. Never have I been at a single tournament for this long of a stretch. And gosh, am I happy it was in NYC. My brother/travel coach and I both spent a significant chunk of our lives in the United States and enjoy spending time in the U.S. very much, as well as both of us having many college friends in the area. I felt supported almost like I would at a home tournament.
Side note: a big thank you to everyone who supported me throughout these two weeks. Your messages and photos of you watching my matches make me feel so loved and supported. It means the world to feel like I have an entire team of people around the world by my side in spirit. From my website designer Niina to my best friend Lotti, or my former internship colleagues at C2ES, just to mention a few, a huge thank you to all of you who follow my tennis journey from afar.
A long break
The break between my matches felt shockingly long. I believe I can prepare my mind and body better next time. Aka mental and emotional management. But like my good friend Peter said after my debut main draw appearance, these are some “growing pains.”
I finished my 3rd and final qualifying match on Thursday and played my 1st (and also final) main draw match on Tuesday. That break really got to me. Just like my brother said, “This is the big leagues now; they have long breaks between their matches.”
In general, the time between the last qualifying match and the main draw match felt endless. And even on match day, I had to wait half a day for the rain to ease. Constantly being “on” and getting prepared for the match, while trying to maintain the momentum from qualifying. But you can’t; it is impossible. It will only tire you out more. Qualifying into the main draw has been a big goal of mine for a very long time, and when I finally achieved my goal, I was buzzing so incredibly high on adrenaline. All I wanted to do was continue playing matches. I was feeling comfortable on the court, fueled with motivation, set in my routines from the entire qualifying week, and then I had to reset. It felt like I was beginning an entirely new tournament from scratch, with heightened pressure, focus, and more to lose.
“Just go and enjoy it.” “Don’t think about anything other than the tennis.” “Don’t be nervous.” “You don’t have anything to lose.”
I am an athlete, competitor, and tennis player who believes in her game and aims to break into the top 100. She is not satisfied with just qualifying for the main draw. She wants to go deep into these Grand Slam tournaments—we all do. That is why we play tennis. So going out to play against a world number 98 with the mindset of “just enjoy it” is not possible. I am out there to win.
And unfortunately, sometimes, being out there to win comes with expectations, pressure, and stress. You know there is a spotlight on you. People are watching, expecting results, hoping for you to go far. You can feel the nerves as soon as you step onto the court, even if you did not anticipate them being there. Or, as in my case, you can come out of the gates swinging for a few games, but then get nervous when it is time to pull ahead even further.
For now, I can be very proud of myself for this week, but there is a lot more work ahead of me.
Rapid-fire thoughts on the US Open
There are so many people milling around the Players’ Areas at all times. The facilities can get very packed. It is really cool, but overwhelming sometimes. The tournament treats us so well: driving us around in Cadillac Escalades, a designated recovery area in the hotel with massages, Gift Cards from American Express and to Uber Eats, all of the Dove hair and body products on demand in the locker room, nice and friendly people available to assist everywhere, a seamstress/tailor, a Dyson hair dryer, and an increase in prize money. (Also, the honey deuces really are that tasty.) I also got very cute congratulatory gifts after my first main draw debut. This is definitely not a comprehensive list: it is just the things that came to my mind as I am writing this. The US Open does try to make the player experience one of the best in the world, and they are doing a remarkable job at that. Australian Open might still take the cake in my book, but the US Open is now close behind. I can’t wait to see how the Open looks next year in the newly built player area.
I think that is all I have to say about this tournament for now: if you have any questions about my experience at the Open, feel free to email me or message me on Instagram @gabrielaknutson_. I will be happy to answer any questions you have. It has been an extraordinary, overwhelming, and rewarding experience over the last two weeks.
Now it is time to recharge, get back to training, and head to Portugal for some WTA 125s.